Category Archives: Horror

The Mummy’s Cock

I’ve held off adding this story to the blog, because it’s my favourite one to perform live. But for all the tens of people who get see it, there are fives of tens who might want to read it. Besides, it’s a performance piece. I don’t think putting it up here detracts from doing it* on stage.

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What Would Scooby Doo?

I’m currently touring in New Zealand, and was super chuffed to get a chance to play FanFiction Comedy, an amazing show by a bunch of gifted young Kiwi stand-ups. The premise is what it says on the tin.

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Video Streaming

Again? Okay.

So, we’re sitting in the bedroom, just looking at stuff. Dumb stuff. There’s this YouTube video that Juls wants us to see. With a kid who’s trying to cross a river, but he slips and yells “help meeee! Get me oooout!” in this really squeaky voice. His voice is so high, and whole body disappears for a second. It’s really funny. The guy filming it is laughing. They’re all going “hellp meeee!”

And all the comments are all “help meeee!” “Get me out!” “I’ve fallen in”.

But Juls wanted to show it to us because he keeps saying there’s something in one of the frames, right? He says if you pause it just right, you can see a face in the river. Like an angry turtle with a shaved head, or something. And he reckons that’s what pulled the kid in.

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